Trading Faces, Swapping Places
by Jyxxie
Summary: A birthday wish comes true, leaving Ed stuck in Al's armor and Al in Ed's body. Will the two figure out a way to 'get home' and manage to keep it a secret from everyone? Ed's temper sure isn't going to make hiding it easy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Duhr.

Chapter 1 is angsty. But the rest of the fic has only bits of angst amongst the humor! Enjoy. :

* * *

"I swear, Al, if I could trade places with you.. I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Ed had said those words to Al more than once, each time with an incurable ache in his heart. He knew that Al minded Ed's condition more than his own, and this only made Ed feel infinitely worse.

"Brother?" Al's voice shakes Ed from his thoughts. He looks up to the familiar, looming suit of armor. "You should be inside. It is your birthday, after all."

Ed just smiles sadly. "Yeah, you're right, Al. Sorry. I'll join you in a minute." He waves Al off gently, watching the armor clunk-clunk through the doorway. {I'd love to switch with you.} Standing, Ed heads inside the building, putting on a smile for those inside. He weaves around, past Mustang and his crew, Armstrong, a few friends; even Winry, who had traveled to Central for his birthday. He heads to the main table, where a few presents are sat to the side. The cake has yet to be brought out. Looking around at the cheesy decorations, Ed can't help but laugh. It's as though he were a kid again. Why would they have a party for him, anyway? He's not the partying type. He likes to spend his time alone in a library, in a field, or just.. well, he's alone. People usually either annoy him or inspire him. Though there's a good balance of those qualities in this room, Ed would, honestly, rather be alone in a library. Or a field. Anywhere that he can wallow in his thoughts until he's inspired to do something about them, get up and take action. Rather than exist in meaningless halfhearted celebration over another year that he's been on the planet. Another year that he's failed to fix himself and his brother. Another year Al has to be stuck, bodiless, inside a cold, senseless metal shell.

Ed is shaken from his thoughts when the room suddenly goes dark, but sees a round cake aflame with candles on them. He stares as it's brought out by Gracia, little Elysia following excitedly behind. Overshadowing Ed's thought of how much Gracia misses Maes is the smile upon her face. Just like himself, she has learned to keep her loved one's spirit alive in her heart.

The birthday song passes by in a surreal blur, and then he feels someone prodding him. Winry.

"Go on, Ed! Make a wish and blow out the candles!" At Ed's sheepish look, she continues. "Come on, just like when we were kids."

Ed faces the candle flames, and feels his heart ache. When they were kids. When all was right and pure.. their mother was there, and Al was fine. Al. As he takes a deep breath and blows the candles out, the only thing on his mind, the only wish he has, is for Al to be human again. And just before the last flame goes out, the other party-goers catch tears gently streaming down Ed's cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of Ed's birthday had gone by pretty quickly. Ed wiped away the tears before the lights came back on, grabbed a piece of cake, mumbled thank you to the appropriate people for their gifts, and stole away to a quieter part of the room, where he would fiddle with his cake slice-periodically eating some of it-and would be mostly left alone, save for a few. Winry came to check on him, but left when he stayed silent. Roy dare not come near, but Armstrong talked to him for a while, regardless of the fact that he wasn't sure whether Ed was listening or not. Gracia and Elysia went to him, and those were the only people he replied to-with just a sad smile and a small laugh, only to make Elysia happy. As the crowd died down, Ed announced that he was feeling unwell, and headed out, Al in tow.

Unwell, the understatement. Ed sinks deeper into his crappy feelings as they approach their apartment. (Honestly, not sure where they room in Central.) He heads straight for the library, not a word to Al, who sits with him to read quietly.

After fifteen minutes, the clock reads 9:42. Al looks over at Edward, spotting tired, red eyes, staring at the pages of the book; staring through them. "Ed?" he speaks quietly.

Ed looks up at Al, then back at the book. "I'm sorry, Al."

Al jumps a bit, and nervously replies. "Um, what for?"

"Every birthday I get a little older. Every year I age a little. But you, Al.. you stay the same. Just armor. That's my fault. I haven't found the answer yet. It's because of me that you still can't eat, sleep, or feel." Ed puts a hand to his face, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Al."

Al grows quiet as he realizes, this is what's been eating Ed all day. "Ed.. it's nothing you can help. We follow every lead we can. We just haven't found the right one yet. We'll keep looking, and-"

"And what if we never find that lead, Al?! What if we NEVER return ourselves back to the way we were? What if you're stuck that way until everyone around you grows old and dies?!" Ed yells, his eyes glistening with fresh tears.

Al looks away. "Then I'll accept this fate. I'll live my life in this armor. And when everyone around me leaves, I'll break the seal and join you. But right now I'm just glad to be here. Because of you, Ed." Al faces Ed, speaking more strongly. "It's your fault, Ed, that I'm like this. If you hadn't sacrificed your arm, I wouldn't be here with you at all. And you know something? That's enough for me. No matter how long it takes to find the answer, I couldn't be happier about being in this armor, because it means I get to be with you and Winry and Aunt Pinako and everyone else we've ever met!"

Ed stares at Al, a stray tear finally falling, before he leans back. He smiles a bit. "Yeah.. I know, Al." He rubs at his eyes, sighing. "I know. I'm sorry."

Al puts his hand on Ed's head gently. "Go to bed, brother. You're tired, you've had a long day."

"Always worried about me," Ed says with a laugh. "I'm going, I'm going. Don't stay up too late, Al."

* * *

Ed awakens in the morning to an odd lack of feeling. He feels completely numb. With a groan, he opens his eyes, looking around. The room is lit hazily, the morning sun shining in through the window. He spots its light falling on the bed; he sees a person asleep there, with the blankets wrapped around them comfortingly. {That looks comfy,} he thinks; then it dawns on him. {That's my bed!} He gets up to check on the person, but only falls down with a load CLANK. The noise awakens the person in his bed, and he looks up when the figure sits up.

"Brother?" The blanket falls off the sleepy person, revealing.. Ed. Edward Elric, in the flesh and metal. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Ed-on-the-bed looks down at Ed-on-the-floor, and when he spots the real Ed, he jumps, nearly falling over. "But-but that's _me_!" His voice is just like Ed's; and when Ed speaks, he about dies.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Ed yells, but hears it in Al's familiar voice. "Who are you?! What-!"

Bed-Ed looks down at himself, and is stunned at what he sees. He then looks at Ed, and squints his eyes. "Edward..?"

"Who the hell do you think it is?!" Ed yells, pushing himself to a seated position.

"Brother?" Bed-Ed speaks shakily, staring at Ed with wide eyes.

Ed, though in disbelief at the whole ordeal, suddenly comes to the same realization. In a low, shaky voice, he speaks. "...Al?"

"Ed.. yes. Ed, what happened? How.. did we.. switch?"

"It's not possible," Ed whispers, lifting his new armored arms and gloved hands, looking at them in awe. "It's just not possible."

Al inches himself to the edge of the bed, hanging his legs over the side. With his flesh left hand, he touches the sheets; feels them with a dreamy look on his face. He next touches the cold, hard metal that is his left knee; then the soft, pale skin on his right knee. "Brother.. I can feel again." He runs his hand up along the leg; continuing up his side, he shivers a bit when it tickles him. His face breaks out into a grin. "I can feel everything."

Ed watches Al both in amazement and relief.. and confusion. Sure, he's incredibly glad that Al's able to experience having a body again.. but that he's doing it in Ed's body, of all the ways for it to happen.. it's stumped him. Still, he smiles inside, and focuses his efforts on standing. He's up easily, and finds that maneuvering this big shell is a simple matter. Though it is strange to not have a sense of feeling; he can't even feel when he puts his foot on the ground. The only thing he can feel is gravity; and that's not so much a feeling as a sense of balance.

Al spots Ed getting up and moving around, and he stops feeling his hair. "Oh.. Ed. Now you're without a body.." Without warning, Al's eyes begin leaking tears; when they do this, he blinks and touches the wet with his flesh hand. "I'm crying."

"There's a lot of emotions you've been missing out on," Ed replies, walking over to Al and hesitating; a hug is out of the question. He simply puts his hand on Al's shoulder. "But now you can catch up."

"But-but Ed, what about you? I have your body and now you're stuck in the armor. Now _you_ can't feel anything."

"I.. know, Al. But I'm okay with that. It's your turn to be free." Ed would grin, but the armor is rather emotionless. "Now come on, you must be hungry. Since I always am!"

Al's eyes widen and he puts a hand to his stomach, then his mouth. "Food? You mean I get to _eat_ now?!" He jumps up, racing to put clothes on to leave. Ed watches in amazement as Al stumbles over himself and fumbles with the clothes. When _was_ the last time Al wore clothing?

They're soon out the front door, and head to a nearby restaurant. After arriving and picking seats, Al inhales deeply, his mouth watering and his eyes bugging out at the sight of the food. "Brother I haven't eaten in.. in.. it's been so long. Do you _smell_ that? Oh man. I have to try that. What is that?"

Ed laughs and shakes his head. "Order the sampler, Al. You can try a little bit of everything that way."

When the waitress comes over, Al excitedly asks for the sampler, then asks what's in it. He then orders a few other small things to go with it. That amount of food is nothing compared to Ed's usual appetite, as Al will soon discover; but that leaves him plenty of room to experience more flavor. And this he does, eating a total of thirty-one types of foods, leaving him with an overfull stomach and a lot less money.

"Al, don't overdo it. You can make yourself sick that way, you know."

"But Ed.. I haven't eaten in so long. It was so goood."

"I know, Al. Just slow down." He spots the look of discomfort on Al's face. "Come on, let's walk it off." Ed stands, leading Al out of the restaurant and into the morning air. He spots, under Al's hand, a bulge in his stomach. He sighs, but is unable to keep from smiling. That he's trapped in the armor now means nothing to him. He's just glad that his brother is enjoying life again.

After walking for ten minutes, Al constantly sniffing the air or running his hand across something just to feel it; they're flagged down by a man in a military suit.

"Edward Elric!" The man trots up to them, and salutes to Al. "Sir, you've been requested by Colonel Mustang."

"All right, we'll be there soon. Thanks," Ed answers, forgetting about the body-switch affecting his work.

"Thank you." The man trots off, and Ed sighs.

"Back to work, Al." He heads toward Central Command. "I wonder what that numbskull had planned this time."

"Brother, you really shouldn't be so negative. I know he can be manipulative, sometimes.. but he really is only trying to help, you know."

"Well he shouldn't be such a cocky asshole about it! So smug. I can't stand him."

Al sighs and follows Ed up the stairs. Used to following Ed, he thinks nothing of it, though he isn't used to seeing the back of his armor. Through curiosity, he watches the hair-tuft of his helmet bob with each step. He watches it until they're allowed through the gates, then watches the people salute to him as they pass. He scurries up to walk next to Ed, a nervous look on his face.

Ed, oblivious, walks down the hall with Ed close, then tosses the door to Mustang's office open. "Yeah Colonel, what do you want this time?"

Riza, setting paperwork in front of Mustang, looks up in surprise at the sudden outburst from the usually-timid suit of armor.

Mustang raises his brows. "Alphonse?"

Al almost speaks up, then looks up at Ed with a nervous expression. "Uh, hey.. Al, I told you not to steal my line."

Ed catches on quickly, remembering who he appears-and sounds-to be. "Oh, right. Sorry, Al. Uh, Ed." Ed heads for one of the chairs, sitting down to stay out of the way. He watches Al, who steps forward.

"..Well, I'm not sure what's going on here, but I hope it's over." Mustang hands Al a paper. "Your next assignment, Fullmetal."

Al stares at Mustang, waiting for more; but when he hears silence, he looks down at the paper and begins to read. Just a routine town check; nothing more. "Oh, okay," he says in a small voice. "Thanks, Colonel." He turns and heads for the door, Ed getting up and following Al. As they head down the hall, Mustang and Riza hear the two talking, and exchange expressions of utter confusion.

"Didn't you see how he was looking at you?"

"No, I was reading the paper. Our next assignment."

"He was totally trying to get a rise out of you!"

"Whaaat? What are you talking about?"

"He gave us this crappy assignment that we couldn't give a rat's ass about!"

"Brother, what do you have against him.."

And the last line is heard only due to Ed's loud tone in reaction.

"He's a pompous ass, what else do I need?!


	3. Chapter 3

So, have you trained your mind yet? When Ed speaks, do you hear Al's voice? When Al speaks, do you hear Ed's? It's actually pretty easy. ^^

* * *

The Elrics had returned from the small town recently, and to the eyes of Team Mustang, Ed walks in alone to hand in the report, no accompanying suit of armor.

"Fullmetal?" Roy raises a brow, spotting the way Ed's clothes fit him a bit more snugly. The weight gain, though minimal, is evident on the small boy's form.

"Um, yes Colonel?" Al asks apprehensively, his gait slowing.

Roy looks Ed up and down, and without alerting his other subordinates, subtly motions to Al's figure with a look demanding an explanation.

"Oh. Oh!" Al grins sheepishly, walking up to hand Roy his report before explaining. "Sorry. Um.. the food in that town is really fattening. It's really good. D-Don't worry, I'll work it off in no time!"

Riza and Roy alike raise their eyes at the change in Fullmetal's disposition. For Ed to apologize to Mustang over something that trivial? That's very unlike him.

"Where is Alphonse?" Riza asks curiously, and Al gulps nervously.

{Did she figure it out?!} "He's.. at the library. Just reading up on something."

"Have you two switched bodies?" Roy muses curiously, naturally only joking. However, when the young man in front of him starts choking on air suddenly, he raises his brows. "Ed?"

Al lightly beats his chest, regaining his breathing before stuttering, excusing himself. "I-I promised I'd meet up with-Al, with Al. Bye!" Ed whips out of the room at breakneck speed.

"What was _that_ about?" Havoc asks, watching Ed run off.

* * *

"Did you ruin my reputation yet?" Ed grumbles from the suit, cooped up amidst a stack of books, nestled in a quiet corner of the library.

Al walks over, sitting down on the floor by Ed and sniffing. "Wow, Brother. I haven't smelled this in a long time. Musty old books!"

Ed looks down at his brother and can't help but laugh. "Yeah. I smell them every day." {Except today.} Ed pauses, looking down at the book he's reading, and mocks a sniff. Obviously, he smells nothing; but hey, that's fine, because Al can finally touch and taste and smell and _feel_ things again. And that's all he wanted.

So why did Ed feel a gnawing ache?

"This one," Al says, shaking Ed from his thoughts. Al pauses, then picks up another book and sniffs it, then runs his hands along the binding, then the pages. "No, this!"

"Al.." Ed rubs the glove across the helmet where his temple would be. "..What are you doing?"

"Picking a book," Al says innocently, and checks the book he'd chosen once again. _Advanced Medical Alchemy._ "Yeah! This is perfect. Ed?" Al looks up at Ed with large, innocent eyes; it's a bit strange to see them from Ed's own face.

"..Uh oh. Al, I know that look."

"I want a copy of this book, Ed."

"..What do you want me to do about it? You can copy it. Isn't it easier to just read it?"

"No, an actual copy. To replace this one." Al grins. "Can't you appreciate it? Look! The pages are the finest vellum.. the diagrams printed carefully, so detailed.. the cover is _real_ leather, aged beautifully over time.. and look at the quality of the stitching!"

Ed stares down at his brother, before finally, groaning. "You're kidding me. Al, we're not taking that book."

"But-"

"Al!"

Al sighs and puts the book back carefully, before taking a look at the other books Ed had been reading. Hm. Human transmutation.. legends, fables.. soul alchemy? Empathy.. out-of-body experiences.. even a book on religion, death and passing to another realm afterward. "Ed?" Al motions to the books confusedly.

"Oh. Just some research, Al."

Al's scientific mind quickly pieces it all together, and he frowns. "..I'm so sorry, Ed. I didn't even think about you.. now _you're_ stuck in there, and I've been enjo-"

"Whaaat? No! No, Al! I'm not looking for a way to switch back. I'm just trying to figure out.. _how_ it happened." Ed sets the book down and sighs. "I still don't know how it can be possible."

"Me neither," Al mumbles, shifting his weight to try and alleviate the tight waistline of Ed's leather pants. "It happened right after your birthday, right?"

"Yeah." Ed lifts up one of the books he'd browsed before, flips to a page and reads it over again. However, when he spots Al wriggling again, he discreetly watches his little brother. When he spots Al reaching down and loosening the belt, Ed figures out what's going on. "Al!"

Al jumps, looking up at his brother with a very guilty expression. "Um?"

Ed groans, reaching forward and poking Al's-Ed's?-Al's tummy with his gloved finger. It's no longer rock-hard muscle, but has a slight pudge to it. "Alphonse! You can't eat that much! What about when we switch back? People will be calling me fat!"

Al looks down and runs his flesh finger over the exposed tummy, admiring it. "I-I'm sorry, Brother. I'll be more careful. I'll eat less."

"Oh, Al." Ed rubs the top of Al's head gently. "Don't beat yourself up about it, it's only a few pounds." Ed pauses, a grand idea sparking in his head. "I know! Al, let's go spar! You can work off that weight, and I can see what it feels like to fight in armor."

Al's eyes light up at he looks up at Ed. "Great idea!" He hops up, fixing the belt before trotting off. Ed quickly gathers the books, stuffing them on a library shelf to return later. He then trots after Al, the sound of the armor clanking heard throughout the library.

* * *

"How do you DO that Ed?!" Al asks between heavy breathing, running his hang from his forehead back, flattening his sweaty bangs against the rest of his hair.

Ed sits down next to Al, watching his little brother as he grins inside. "Wow, Al. This body is really something. It never gets tired! I could fight you for hours and not slow down!" Ed looks down at the legs of the armor and taps them. "..The only thing is, I can't really feel that rush I get. Or the satisfaction of knowing I've really pushed myself." Ed stares down at the metal, going silent.

Al looks up at his brother, getting his breathing under control before looking away guiltily. "Ed.. what if we aren't able to switch back? What.. what if you're stuck like that.. forever?"

Ed looks down at Al, keeping his emotions hidden quite well inside the armor shell. "Then I'm stuck like this. You'll at least get to have a normal life." Ed gives Al a little thumbs up, chuckling. "Whatever happens, we'll figure it out. Don't worry."

Al nods, then stands and stretches. "Hey Ed.. can we go visit Winry and Granny?"

A whine escapes Ed as he shrinks visibly. "Al, how can we face them like this? You're me and I'm you!"

"Please don't say it like that Brother.. it's too confusing."

"And what _actually_ happened _doesn't_ confuse you?!" Ed groans loudly.

Al laughs nervously. "Come on Brother, it'll make you feel better. Promise!"

"Okay, okay. Let's go."

* * *

"Who's telling her?"

"You do it, Brother. I can't sound like you, but you can imitate me easily."

"Good point."

"Rockbell Automail, Winry speaking."

"Oh, Winry!" Ed answers, holding the phone to his 'ear'. "Ed and I were thinking of taking a trip to visit you and Granny."

An audible groan travels over the line. "What did he break this time, Al."

"Why do you always think that I'm-he's breaking the automail?" Ed catches himself and calms down. "He didn't break anything, honest. It's just a regular visit."

"..Really?"

"Yes, really. We'll be there tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay! See you two soon!"

Ed hangs the phone up and looks down at Al. "She sounded really, really happy."

"Well of course! We don't visit her enough just to _visit_ her."

"Well yeah, but.. we're always so busy."

"And you really _do_ break your automail a lot."

"Al!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys, thanks for reviewing. c:  
Have some Winry!

* * *

"I'm really dreading this," Ed whines, walking down the dirt road toward the Rockbell's.

"Why? It's not like she can hurt you with a wrench now," Al answers, watching his automail fingers flex with interest.

"Yeah but.. she can sure hurt you!"

"But-but Winry wouldn't have any reason to hit me with one!" Al protests, protectively covering his gold-covered head.

"When you're wearing the face of Edward Elric, she _finds_ a way," Ed mutters.

"Ed? Al?" The two hear Winry calling from a distance, and look over to see her.

Enthusiastically, Al waves, grinning. "Hey, Winry!"

Not as cheerfully as his brother, Ed waves to Winry. "Hey."

Winry runs forward, stopping at Al, grabbing the automail arm to inspect it closely, then moving it around. "..You weren't lying, Al. He really hasn't broken it."

"Of course he hasn't," Al answers without thinking. "Besides, it's not even his anymore!"

Winry, still holding the arm, looks up at Al in confusion. "..What was that Ed?"

Al gulps nervously, looking up at Ed before returning his gaze to Winry and continuing. "Um.. I don't know how yet, but.. Ed and I switched bodies."

Winry looks at Ed, then Al; then back at Ed again. "So you return home and right away you want to play Prank the Mechanic, huh?"

"N-no, Winry, it's true!" Al whines, giving Winry a pouty face. "Ed's in the armor and I'm stuck inside his body!"

"It's true," Ed quips, looking down at Winry. "It happened right after my birthday."

Winry materializes a wrench and pops Al across the head with it. "That's not funny, boys!"

Not used to the sensation, Al gasps, grabbing his head and crying out in pain. "Winryyyyy why would you _do_ that?!" Tears begin gushing down Al's cheeks as he tenderly clutches at his golden hair.

Ed pulls Al close, moving Al's hands away from the spot. "Geez, relax, Al; you're not even bleeding." He turns his head to the incredibly-confused Winry. "Why the hell'd ya do that? We told you what happened!"

"Whaaa?" Winry stares at the two, looking at protective-Al and sobbing-Ed, and feels as though her brain is melting. "What? But.. but I.. what's going on here!"

"I told you, Winry," Ed says, making sure Al is going to be fine before turning to face her. "Somehow, Al and I switched bodies. He's in my body and I'm attached to the suit of armor."

"But-but that's just not possible!" Winry protests, looking between the two brothers.

"Is too!" Al protests, looking at his hand for the tenth time to check for blood. "Geez Winry.. do you always hit Ed this hard? No wonder he calls you crazy."

"Hey! That's not funny!" Winry takes a closer look at Al, really looking into his eyes. Finally, her eyes widen and she looks up at Ed. "Edward?!"

"Yeah, Winry; that's what we've been trying to _tell_ you." Ed crosses his arms, looking off in annoyance.

"Crap, you two.. really got in a mess this time," Winry says weakly, her voice wavering.

"We didn't _try_ to, Winry.. Winry!" Al calls out, watching as the girl drops to the ground.

"Great job Al, you made her faint."

"Me?! It happened on YOUR birthday!"

* * *

"That was just a dream, right?" Winry mumbles, opening her eyes and looking around. She spots Ed, Al, and Pinako next to her. She sits up, sees she's on the couch, then points at Al. "Ed, right?" She then turns to Ed in the armor. "Alphonse?"

"Um." Al looks at Pinako nervously. "No, Winry. We've been over this."

Pinako looks at Al, raising an eyebrow. "Something you boys want to tell me?"

Al waves, grinning nervously. "Granny, it's me, Alphonse."

Pinako's eyes widen, and she looks up at Ed in the armor.

"It's true, Granny," Ed replies, gaze shifting between all of them. "The day after my birthday, Al and I woke up like this."

"Freaky," Winry murmurs, eyes resting on Ed momentarily before settling on Al, where she looks him over carefully.

Al gulps nervously, and finds Pinako is studying him too, but not with the same look of wonder in her eyes. "Um.."

"Stop staring at him," Ed says protectively.

"So, Al," Winry begins slowly. "..You can eat again, right?"

"Mhm." Al looks up at Winry innocently, absolutely adorable.

Winry melts. {Why doesn't Ed ever do that?!} "Would you like for me to make you some pie?"

Al's eyes widen and he gasps, the nervous expression gone from his face immediately. "Yeah! I've been waiting to try your pie!"

Ed groans, performing a literal facepalm.

"You have a problem with that, Ed?" Winry asks, contempt clear in her voice.

"No, no, not at all!" Ed turns to Al, pointing to him. "_Extra_ sparring later, marshmallow."

"..Marshmallow?" Al says in confusion, tilting his head.

"Yeah. Because you're squishy."

Al blushes and pulls the red coat shut protectively. "It's only a few pounds, Brother. I'm not gonna gain any more, really."

"I know," Ed says dismissively. "Because we're sparring later." Ed grins, but realizes Al can't see it; so makes use of his body language to convey smugness the best he can. "Enjoy your pie, Al!"

Al whines and scurries over to Winry to help her cook.

Having heard the whole thing, Winry opens Al's coat, confusing the boy. "..Hm. He wasn't kidding. I thought he always had a fast metabolism."

"W-Winry!" Al gasps, shutting the coat, his face beet-red. "I-I just put on a _few_ pounds! Barely anything!"

"Sorry, Al. I've just never seen Ed with any extra weight on him before. I was curious."

Al grumbles and hugs the red coat close. "I haven't eaten in years. Everything tastes so good, I can't help it."

Winry smiles and pats Al on the head. "Don't worry. One pie isn't going to make you fat. Besides, Ed's going to spar with you later." She pauses. "You can still beat him, right?"

"Oh, um, well.. we sparred yesterday. Neither of us won, though. I'm not used to sparring with a human body and Ed's not used to sparring with the armor; so I think I might have been able to beat him, if we were both used to these bodies."

Winry nods, assembling the pie while Al watches, and letting him join in the preparation. Ed excuses himself, heading out to go for a walk.

He returns to find Al lounging on the couch, belt loose and pants unbuttoned. It's easy to see Al's stomach is bloated from eating too much, and there's a blissful expression on his sleepy face.

"Al?" Ed walks forward, and spots Winry in the armchair, reading a romance novel.

"Oh! Hey Ed." Winry looks over at Al, who's nearly asleep. "You know, Al's appetite rivals yours. He ate all but one slice of that pie."

Ed gasps and points at Al accusingly. "You are the WHOLE PIE?! Are you TRYING to ruin my image?!"

Al lets out a little 'eek' and tries to shrink into the couch cushions and hide. His face goes a little pink.

"ED! Stop making him feel bad!" Winry stands, putting her hands on her hips. "He hasn't had pie in years. A few pounds isn't going to kill him, _or_ your _image_. Now apologize to Al."

Ed crosses his arms, looking away indignantly. "Sorry, Al. I'm just not used to not having control over my _own body_." He pauses, relaxing. "But if anyone has to use it, I'm glad it's you."

Al smiles, getting more comfy on the couch. "Thanks, Ed. I just hope we can switch back soon. I'm sure you miss.." He's interrupted by a yawn. "..your body."

"Not as much as how I'm glad to see you enjoying living again," Ed replies softly, watching Al relax and his breathing start to even out. "Wh-Al wait, don't do to sleep yet! We have to spar first!"

Al doesn't even twitch, already asleep. Winry shoots Ed a glare. "Leave him sleep, Ed. He's tired."

"But Winry! He's gotta work off that pie he ate. Come on, it won't take long."

Winry picks her book back up, settling into the chair to relax and read. She speaks, just enough of a warning to her voice to make Ed shrink back in fear. "Don't you dare wake him."


	5. Chapter 5

I get so distracted while writing. I still don't know how I'm getting these out so fast. I never update this quickly.

* * *

_"Don't you dare wake him."_

Ed had sat on the available chair, watching a relaxing Winry and a sleeping Al. Not able to feel tired, Ed looked at the clock on the wall. It was getting late. He looked down, looking at the metal of the armor he's in, and wondered if Al felt that lost every night.

"Ed?"

Shaken from his thoughts, Ed looks at Winry, who is looking at him with a pitying expression on her face. "Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

He looks at Al, watching him sleep peacefully. "Al looks so content."

Winry looks at the younger brother and smiles. "Yeah. He's really enjoying being human again."

"Winry.. what about when we switch back? _If_ we switch back? I don't want Al to be stuck in the armor again. But, I.. I don't want to be stuck in it either," Ed adds quietly.

"Oh, Ed," Winry says, getting up and walking over to him. She sits herself on the arm of the chair and takes his hand in hers. "Al will understand. He knows this is probably just temporary. Do you think that hasn't crossed his mind?"

"How can you be so sure?" Ed looks down at Winry's hand, never remembering a time he missed her touch so much.

"We talked about it while you were out. Believe me, Ed, this hurts him more than you think. He's so happy to be human.. but he's so guilty that you have to be in the armor while he is."

"There he goes again, always blaming himself.. geez." Ed gazes at Al. "Tomorrow, I'll let him know that he doesn't need to feel bad about it." He's silent for a minute before speaking again. "I have to let him know that if this isn't temporary, he can happily live, guilt-free. I'll gladly live in the armor so he doesn't have to."

Though he can't feel it, Winry squeezes his glove. "Ed, you two keep moving forward, keep trying to get your bodies back. If nothing else, that'll definitely fix it."

Ed chuckles. "Of course, Winry. We'll never stop fighting to get that back."

Quiet for the moment, Winry just runs her fingers over Ed's glove. Ed is silent too, only looking up when she speaks again. "Ed.. what's it like inside the armor?"

"You never asked Alphonse?"

"No, I.. I almost did, once, but.. I just couldn't. He's not as sensitive as he seems, but I still couldn't bring it up, because he's so innocent, and he shouldn't be reminded of it."

Ed reaches both hands up, breaking her touch of his glove as he pulls the armor head off. He hands it to her and leans forward a bit. "It's really strange. You can't feel a thing, not even gravity pulling on you. You can't sleep, and the closest thing to sleep is meditation. It's.. well, when you can't sleep, your mind goes nonstop. I don't know how Al does it and stays.. sane," he finishes quietly.

Winry looks at the metal helmet and into the empty eye holes, then up at Ed and the blood seal. {Ed drew that seal for Alphonse.. and now it's what's keeping him alive.} "Just don't let it drive you insane before you find the stone, okay?" Winry offers Ed a smile, and he gives her a thumbs-up.

"What, are you kidding? I'm already there. Or do you call this being normal? If so, you're as crazy as me."

Winry can't help it and lets out a little giggle. "Put your head back on, Ed. ...Oh my god, we _are_ crazy!"

The two laugh at this, and nearly wake Al up before they quiet down. Ed says his good-nights before pilfering various medical books to occupy his night with. Once he's alone in the spare bedroom reading, his mind wanders to earlier and he has to laugh again.

Crazy? That's the understatement of his life.

* * *

"Here! Take this. And this too! And give this to Ed, I saw him reading it when he didn't think I was watching." Winry creates a pile of things on the kitchen table for Ed and Al to take with them. Contained in the pile is a wide assortment of food for Al to sample, a fresh first-aid kit for their travels, and a romance novel for Ed.

Al snorts, trying to hold in a laugh. "Ed-Ed was reading that?"

"Yeah! I guess because it has 'alchemy' in the title, he thought it would be interesting."

Al shakes his head, laughing. "He'll never change, will he?"

"Who?" Ed walks in, curious, but then spots the pile on the table as Winry helps Al pack it. "Wha-more food?"

"Edward Elric, don't you start that again," Winry says, shooting Ed a glare.

"Ah, no, I-I wasn't! I was just surprised, there's so much food there," he lies. He glances at Al, glad to see there's no guilt on his brother's face, only cheerfulness. "It looks like a great assortment! Al's going to love it."

"There's so much! I'm going to have to pace myself." Al helps Winry finish wrapping it up before she hands the box to Ed.

"Ed, you carry this. Al is carrying his suitcase, that's heavy enough."

"Yeah, okay." Ed takes the box, which he isn't sure if it's heavy or not. Another advantage of the armor? "Are you ready, Al?"

"You actually want to go back to Central? Aren't you worried Mustang is going to find out we switched?"

"What, that dumbshit? Even if body-switching WAS a possible thing, he couldn't figure it out if his life depended on it!"

Al puts a hand to his mouth to stifle his giggles. "B-Brother, be nice! He's smarter than you give him credit for."

"Yeah, right. And I'm a frickin' angel."

"I like him, personally," Winry says, arms crossed matter-of-factly.

"Y-WHAAAT? He's so much OLDER than you!"

"I don't like him THAT way, Edward! You're such a pervert!"

If Ed could blush, his face would be beet-red. "Well it sounded like that! Geez Winry. What is there to like about that idiot, anyway?"

"He's been good to you, you really shouldn't be so mean."

Ed snorts. "He's a smug, self-centered, egotistical womanizing jackass."

"You didn't say he wasn't good to you."

"Eeeeyyaaaagh! Alphonse are you ready to go yet?! This woman is driving me crazy!"

Winry grins triumphantly as Al laughs, picking up his suitcase. "We'll be back soon Winry, promise."

"You'd better be! I worry about you boys."

"We can take care of ourselves," Ed says flippantly, waving his hand dismissively.

"And who do you come back to every time you break your automail?"

"Oh shut up," Ed mutters, heading for the door.

Winry waves to the two as they head out once again, watching as Ed gives Al a gentle, playful shove and Al responds with a well-placed hit, nearly knocking over the armor. She shakes her head, but can't help the smile on her face.

"Boys."

* * *

"Now remember Al, you're Edward and I'm Alphonse. Think you can keep that straight at headquarters?"

The two had just dropped off the food and suitcase at their apartment, and were now headed toward Central HQ. Al was doing his best to mimic Ed's more relaxed style of walking and the way Ed's voice was strong and impudent, but wasn't doing very well.

"Got it, Brother."

"Don't call me that. Call me Al. I don't call you Brother."

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"And don't apologize, Al! You apologize too much. They'll know something's up."

"R-Right. Don't worry.. Al, I won't let you down!"

Ed snickers at Al's near-slip. "Not like they'll figure out something this bizarre, anyway."

* * *

Al takes a deep breath, remembering the reputation he has to uphold for his brother. He opens the door, not quite slamming it open, but being rude all the same. "Oi! I'm back!"

{Impressive,} Ed thinks, watching Al stride in toward Mustang's desk. {He's even got the walk down.}

"Fullmetal," Roy acknowledges Al with annoyance clear in his tone. "You're supposed to knock before you come in."

"I know," Al says, stopping just in front of Roy's desk. "But then you wouldn't know it's me."

"Sure I would. The knocking sound would come from the floor."

Al, usually more amused at the short jokes, can't hide the smile from his face at the joke; neither of them notice Ed's fists clench at the crack.

Roy raises a brow at the smile on Al's face. "Clearly, you don't understand that was directed at you."

"Huh?" Al blinks, then looks at Ed and then at Roy. "Oh! The short joke."

Roy stares at Al, raising his brows in confusion. He tries again. "Yes, the short joke. The one where I implied you're small enough to walk right under the door and not even duck your head."

Al, having never experienced a height-induced tantrum like Ed, tries his best to mimic. "Who're you calling so short he.. he can get stepped on just.. by.. oh man I don't know!"

Ed facepalms at Al's reaction, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. {Reputation: ruined. Thank you, Alphonse.}

Roy snorts in reaction to Al's pathetic response. "What, is your vocabulary in _short_ supply? Is my comment a _little_ too much for you to handle?"

"Colonel please don't comment on my height," Al says, only imagining what Ed must be feeling right now.

"Please? The great Edward Elric saying 'please'? This I can't believe! You must have really _lowered_ your standards to _shrink_ your ego and put out that _short_ fuse-"

"WHO THE HELL YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT HE CAN FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS IN THE WOOD AND HAS TO STAND ON STILTS TO FIGHT THE INSECTS FOR FOOD DOWN THERE?!" Ed suddenly explodes, leaping to his feet and holding up a shaky fist. The malevolence is almost _visible_, he's so worked up.

Roy stares at Ed, then at Alphonse, who just looks ready to crawl into a hole. "What the hell is going on between you two?!"

"Just give me our assignment, dammit!" Al says, using what frustration he has to sound like Ed. "Hurry up, you're too damn slow."

Roy leans forward in his seat with a grin. "And miss these theatrics? Not a chance!"

Ed stomps forward and stands between Al and Roy. "Just give him the assignment already! Why do you always have to be such a jerk?!"

"Alphonse Elric?" Riza walks into the office, eyes wide in surprise.

Al turns to Riza and gulps. "Oh, h-hello Lieutenant."

"..Hello Edward."

{Oh, crap! Why can't we keep this straight?!} He taps Ed's arm. "Al, Alphonse."

Ed blinks and looks down at Al, then looks at Hawkeye. Realization dawns and he turns to face her. "Lieutenant."

"Would you boys like to explain what's going on?" Her hand absent-mindedly taps at her holstered gun.

Both Elrics sweatdrop, Al gulping weakly. "The Colonel is giving us a hard time.. he won't give us our assignment."

"Colonel, please give them their assignment. I'm sure you have plenty of _other_ work to get to."

Roy hands the paper to Al, but catches the nervous look in Al's eyes. "I expect to see you back as soon as you've completed this assignment. Both of you."

"Y-yes sir," Al replies, turning to quickly exit, with Ed hot on his heels.

"Honestly.. what is going on with those boys?" Riza asks when they've gone.

"I wish I knew. They've been playing this role-swap game for a while now." Roy sighs. "I suppose we'll need to keep better tabs on them."

"For a game, they're doing awfully well at mimicking each other." She pauses. "..You don't think they had an accident with alchemy, do you?"

Roy chuckles. "Relax, even alchemy can't do something like that."

Riza frowns. "I wouldn't be so sure. Alchemy can bind a soul to a suit of armor. I'm sure it has more power than we realize."

"There's always more to learn.. but I still don't think that's possible by alchemy. They would have said something about it by now."

Riza nods in reluctant agreement, then notices Roy is just sitting there, thinking. With paperwork left unattended. "..Sir."

"Hm?"

She points her gun in his direction. "Get back to work."


	6. Chapter 6

This one took a little longer, sorry. Been distracted.  
Ed's potty mouth appears more here. You have been warned.

* * *

"Where is our next assignment?" Al asks, standing on tippy-toes to try and see the paper Ed is reading. "Ed, c'mon, I can't see!"

"Oh, sorry Al. I'm not used to being the.. tall one," Ed says, suddenly feeling an inflation of pride. "Al.. I'm tall! I'm finally tall!"

Al giggles, covering his mouth immediately afterwards. "Only with my body. As soon as we switch back, you're going right.. back.. to _short!_" he says, grinning evilly.

Ed gasps in horror. "Al! How can you be so mean.." Ed points at Al. "Use some of your Alphonse magic and make my body taller while you're in it!"

"..Alphonse magic? Ed, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know.. I.. drink milk or something! Maybe it'll make me grow taller."

"You would approve of your body drinking milk?"

"As long as _I_ don't have to be the one to drink it!"

"Ed, you're hopeless." Al laughs at his brother.

Ed groans and hands the assignment paper to Al. "Here, Al. It's a really basic mission. We're wanted at the Briggs border to look into possible illegal alchemical gold creation. I can't believe they're not having someone else work on this! Briggs? It's so faaaar!"

"So is Risembool, if you think about it. It's not that much of a difference in distance. C'mon Brother, let's go get the next train out!" Al runs off, and Ed takes off after him.

* * *

"How can it be so cold here?" Al asks, shivering, teeth chattering pathetically. He hugs the red coat close to himself, but Ed can see that it's not enough for the howling wind.

"Let's find you something warmer to wear, Al." Ed, for once glad for the armor, walks with Ed to the military building where they're due to report in. Once inside, they find a place where nobody is watching them; Ed shamelessly transmutes a large curtain into a heavy coat for Al, one bound to keep him toasty-warm outside. "There! One coat for the Briggs border."

"Ah! Thank you, Brother." Al slips the coat on, immediately relaxing. "It's so _warm_."

"That's the point, Al," Ed says, then looks around. "Come on, we'd better report in."

The two find the front desk and Al flashes Ed's pocket watch after giving his name. He asks where they're needed, but the secretary is having trouble finding anything for an 'Elric' or a 'Fullmetal'.

"It's got to be in there," Ed insists, reaching into Al's pocket to pull the folded-up assignment paper out. He doesn't notice Al's startled expression when his pocket is violated. "Here, see?" He hands the paper to the woman, now unfolded.

She takes it and reads it over, then shuffles through her files and pulls out a paper, nearly identical to their creased parchment. "Oh! Okay, here it is. ..Goodness. I'm terribly sorry, boys," she says apologetically, holding up her copy. "It seems a mistake was made somewhere along the paper trail. This assignment is already being investigated by an alchemist stationed here."

Ed and Al look at the paper, seeing not 'Fullmetal Alchemist' but 'Flowing Heat Alchemist'. They stare at it, then look up at the short-haired secretary in confusion.

She simply smiles as she spells it out for them, still with the apologetic expression. "Someone heard the name wrong and so you were sent here by mistake." She looks between the two, pointing to the names on the papers. "Clerical error."

Al looks ready to faint; Ed throws his arms up, groaning exasperatedly. "All the way for a frickin' CLERICAL ERROR?! You've gotta be shittin' me!" Ed growls, turning and stomping off to find a phone.

"Wh-Brother, wait up! Calm down, it's not her fault." He turns back to the secretary and bows, apologizing before running after Ed.

Once outside, Al spots Ed squeezing into a phone booth, then calling Roy's number. He angrily taps his foot, ignoring Al's protest.

"Colonel Mustang speaking."

"Colonel. There's been a _clerical error_ and we weren't really needed up here after all."

"Alphonse? Ah.. hold on." The sound of papers being shuffled through is heard, and then a muffled sound of Roy yelling. Ed waits impatiently, free hand resting on his hip. Finally, Roy picks up the phone again. "..I found where the names were mixed up. I'm terribly sorry for that, Alphonse."

"Yeah? Well, you should be. We came all the way out here and away from possible leads for the stone for _nothing_. It's _freezing_ out here, do you know that? Do you even KNOW that that does to automail? It hurts like hell! But do you care? No. You're toasty warm there in Central. You _prick_." Ed doesn't even care about keeping their soul-switch secret as a secret any longer, he's so positively _pissed_ at Mustang, even if Mustang might not be the cause of the mix-up. He needs to take his anger out on someone, and Mustang is perfect for that. After all, he's a prick for more than just this, so he's not really lying.

The other end of the line is silent for a tense minute, save the sound some faint background noise. Roy speaks after the silence, voice low. "Are you and your brother feeling all right?"

"We're feeling just fine thank you," Ed says curtly. "We'll be getting on the first train back to-"

"No, I think you'll wait for my next order, Fullmetal."

Ed freezes, then speaks nervously into the phone. "..Colonel? You know who you're talking to?"

"Ah, crap. I'm sorry Alphonse. You reminded me so much of Ed for a minute there. He's really rubbing off on you. In a bad way," Roy mutters the last part, thinking Ed didn't hear him.

Ed relaxes, putting a hand to his head. "What did you want us to do next then, Colonel?" he asks, trying to recover his 'Alphonse image'.

"There may have been a clerical error for this case, but while I was reading it, it struck me as odd that a high-ranking state alchemist was needed to handle the low-priority case. Have you ever heard of the Flowing Heat Alchemist, Alphonse?"

{Alphonse. Right, that's me.} "No sir, I haven't." {_Sir_. I hate calling this idiot 'sir'. Alphonse, why do you have to be so damn nice?} Ed glances back at Al, who is standing right behind him, listening into the conversation as best he can.

"He's quite adept at manipulating the thermal energy of the earth. He can cause small eruptions from dormant underground volcanoes, but his control is thorough enough that he can stop the lava flow at any time and seal it off."

"..He can make volcanoes? Out of nothing? Interesting.."

"That's the ability that gained him entry into the military," Roy continues. "The alchemy he uses on a normal basis is a much-less-powerful, but faster to use form of flame alchemy using transmutation circles burned into his palms."

"But why would someone so strong be sent after someone who's only making gold?"

"That's what I want you two to find out," Roy replies. "Could you put Ed on the phone?"

Ed groans and hands the phone to Al. {Don't ruin my reputation any further please, Al..}

"Sir? ... Oh! Yes, I heard some of it. No, I wasn't really close to the phone. You have a deep voice that carries well through the phone. ... Um.. yeah. O-okay, I'll report in later! Bye!" Al quickly hangs the phone up, gulping. "Brother, why can't I pretend to be you as well as you pretend to be me?"

"Because you're too worried about being nice. C'mon Al, let's go find that Flowing Heat Alchemist."

* * *

Several hours of asking around and searching later, the two find themselves crunching around in the snow along the edge of a mountain range, searching through the windy snowfall for a mouth of a cave. Ed's sharp eyes are directed on the rocks around them, not his little brother, who's shivering from the extended exposure from the cold.

Al hugs the coat close, which has kept him warm for quite a while, but can't keep the cold out forever. He stays silent so as not to interrupt Ed's searching, and keeps himself distracted from the downside of being an automail-ridden human in the ravages of the northern winter.

"Al! I think I found it! C'mon, hurry!" Ed runs toward an opening in the mountain, but turns when he doesn't hear Al's crunching footsteps behind him. He spots Al walking toward him, slowly and methodically, clutching the bright red coat close. It's only when Al gets a little closer that Ed spots Al's shivering and the pale skin of his face under the pulled-over hood. "..Alphonse?"

"C-cave," Al says, looking up at Ed with a small smile. "G-get o..ut of the w-wind."

"Ah, shit," Ed says, gently lifting Al and running toward the cave. "Al, I'm so sorry, I-I didn't even think about how cold you'd be."

Al leans his head against Ed's arm, not even noticing that it's colder than the icy wind around them. "S'fine. Just.. au-automail.. colder."

"You stay awake, Al!" Ed races inside the cave, setting Al down on the rocky floor. Within two minutes, Ed has a fire going, complete with a small pile of wood to add to it. He's used alchemy to heat up the air inside the cave until the fire gets large enough, and has alchemized Al's coat to make it toasty war. He also has a small stone bowl of hot soup, and sits next to the slightly-warmer Al to help him.

"Ed.. wh-where did you get.. the soup?" Al looks around, golden eyes much more alert.

"Alchemy," Ed explains nonchalantly. He holds the soup for Al, who mostly uses his automail hand to hold the bowl.

"I know, but.." Al looks around. "There's no plants around, and everything outs-side is frozen."

Ed chuckles. "Come on Al, I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist!" He sees Al is still curious, but before he can explain, the two spot a flash of light farther down the cave. Ed jumps up, then looks down at Al, who is downing the soup as fast as he can before climbing to his feet, albeit stumbling slightly, due to stiff, uncooperative muscles. "Can you walk yet, Al?"

"Screw walk, I can run!" Al takes off, and Ed is left surprised.

{Since when does Al use that kind of language? Ahhh I hope I'm not rubbing off on him!} Ed easily keeps up with Al, the two dodging through several turns in the windy tunnel, following the faint, steady lighting. They emerge into an open room, supported here and there by thick wooden beams.

"Well if it isn't the Fullmetal pipsqueak," comes a familiar grating voice which sends chills down Al's spine-but only causes Ed to make a fist.

"Stop CALLING me that!"

Envy walks to one of the beams, raising a brow. "I didn't call you that. I called _him_ that." Envy jabs a thumb in Al's direction. "You're too tall, I can't make fun of you. But the short, miniscule, petite, shrimpy _little_ pipsqueak over there, I sure can!"

"YOU SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR LIFE!" Ed screams, shooting forward to attack Envy. When Envy merely sidesteps him and leaves Ed skidding, he yells in frustration. "STAND STILL SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!"

Envy ignores Ed, leaping toward Al and landing right in front of him. Envy grabs Al's still-freezing automail arm, giving it a quick, key twist, and yanks it harmlessly from the automail port. "Can't have you clapping those hands now, can we?" Envy says giddily, tossing the arm across the room.

Al's eyes widen. "Wh-Envy, no! If you bang that arm up Winry's gonna _kill_ me!"

"I just took away your main method of defense, and you're worried about what your mechanic will do to you?" Envy says boredly. "I think you have more _pressing_ things to worry about." Envy quickly thrusts a fist forward into Al's face, but on reflex, Al has his left arm up and and has blocked it.

"Envy you leave my brother alone!" Ed screams. "This fight is between you and me!"

"Oh shut up, Alphonse," Envy snorts. "This fight is between Fullmetal and I. Now go be a good little brother and sit off to the side."

"I'M THE LITTLE BROTHER!" Al suddenly screams, shoving Envy off and sliding back. He calms down slightly when Envy stands there, looking at him in surprise. However, he doesn't expect what comes out of him next.

"..You just admitted that you're little!" Envy laughs, but he's shaken from his good mood by the sound of a clap and alchemical fizz, looking back only in time to see a stone spike impale him in the chest. His eyes widen as he looks at the rising form of Ed, and shoves himself from the stone spike while spitting out the rising blood. "How the hell did you do that?!"

"I told you, Envy," Ed says, clapping his hands and forming the familiar blade with his right arm. "_I'm_ Edward Elric."

"Bull," Envy says bluntly, pointing at Al. "That's Ed."

"Alphonse," Al corrects. I'm Alphonse."

Envy looks between the two, spotting the determined but nervous Al, and the pissed Edward. "No way. How?"

Ed groans. "Birthday wish gone wrong."

Envy relaxes, letting his arms hang down to his sides as he looks back and forth between the two. Suddenly, he bursts into uncontrollable laughter, arms across his now-healed chest. Unable to stop, he drops to the floor, rolling around on the cold floor.

"HEY! It's not FUNNY, you bastard!" Ed yells, but this only causes Envy to laugh harder and point at Ed with tears in his eyes.

"Y.. you.. I.. and you.." Unable to finish, Envy sniggers, only starting to laugh harder.

"Hey, it's not funny!" Al interjects, but wisely takes advantage of this situation to edge toward his arm. He's almost to it before Envy turns to him, pointing.

"And now you really ARE the little brother!" Envy drops to the floor once again, still laughing.

"We get it!" Ed yells, fists shaking. "We _get_ it! Now shut the hell up, you idiot!"

Al reaches the automail arm and grabs it, finding it's not freezing like before, but still pretty damn cold. Just as he does this, however, Envy spots him, and manages to subdue his laughing enough to leap to his feet and over to Al, yanking the arm from his grasp.

"So what's it like in the pipsqueak's body?" Envy asks, amusement evident in his voice. "Do you have to look up at everyone all the time? Is it annoying?"

Al looks at the automail arm protectively, but just answers Envy's questions. "I don't mind it at all. I'm just glad to have a physical body again." Al pauses, looking over at Ed, who is walking toward them, relaxed for the moment. "But Ed is stuck in the armor now."

Envy looks over at Ed, a thoughtful look on his face. "Edward Elric is in the suit of armor." He hums with intrigue, and Ed's feeling more creeped out by the second.

"..What's that look for?" Ed asks, his arm blade at the ready.

"Ohhh, nothing," Envy says, but within seconds has dropped the arm, leaped over to Ed, kicked the helmet off, and squirmed inside the armor.

Ed screams in confusion and rage, grabbing at his chest, twisting around violently. "GET THE HELL OUT OF ME YOU SICK BASTARD! GET OUT! GAAAAH!"

Laughing is heard from inside the armor as a very amused Envy purposely moves Ed's arms around, frustrating the older Elric immensely.

"KNOCK THAT OFF AND GET OUT OF ME! GET OOOUUUT!" Ed tries to move his arms to take the chest plate off, but Envy is quite strong as well, and keeps Ed from doing it. "YOU LITTLE FUCK-"

"Oh shut up, pipsqueak! You don't know how to have any fun!" Envy laughs again, his voice echoing inside the armor.

Suddenly, Ed's arms and legs stiffen by Envy's accord, and Ed gurgles in horror. "What-what the hell-what are you doing?!"

"Nothing, nothing at all," Envy replies innocently, but as a horrified and confused Al watches, the suit of armor begins.. dancing around. Ed is _dancing_. Like a little girl.

As much as Ed struggles, he can't free himself. He's stuck dancing, sputtering in horror, until he finally gets fed up and gives his all into taking back control. Several snaps are heard inside the armor, followed by a raging scream of pain and anger, but Ed's arms are free long enough to yank the chest plate off, grab Envy and throw him out and to the floor.

"You little shit," Envy curses, his broken bones healing themselves. "Can't you enjoy a little fun?"

"You call that FUN?! I-I feel so VIOLATED!"

Al, holding the automail arm but not actually wearing it, can't help himself-and breaks out in a fit of snickers.

"Al how is that FUNNY?" Ed yells, glaring daggers at his little brother.

"I'm sorry brother, I'm sorry! It's just.. what you said!" He manages to stifle his laughter, glancing at a slowly-standing Envy.

"Al put your arm back on, we have to fight this bitch!"

"Bitch?" Envy says, looking at Ed confusedly.

Al looks at the arm, then at Ed pleadingly. "Ed, I can't, I.. I never learned how to put it on!"

"...You've gotta be kidding me."

* * *

Ah, Envy. You crazy psychotic bastard.


	7. Chapter 7

First, let me apologize for update slowness: I wanted to watch the rest of FMA Brotherhood, because I hadn't yet. Which, sadly, was about 75% of the series. I'm finished now! Also had sort of a brainfart on this chapter. Rewrote a bit.

Drachmaaaaa is cold I realize I herp-a-derp'd on the last chapter. I forgot that it's the Briggs 'fortress', and how strict it is there. I also completely forgot North City. So, let's pretend that they stopped at North City, checked in, then went to the Briggs fortress. Then they began traipsing around the mountain range. Yep.

* * *

"You never learned how to put it on?!" Ed yells. "You were there when I had my automail surgery, we've been together for years.. AND YOU NEVER LEARNED HOW TO PUT IT ON?!"

Al shrinks back from his brother's wrath, realizing that it's in part due to the knowledge that Envy is about to whup their asses good. "I'm sorry, Ed!"

"Sorry won't protect you, now will it?" Envy cuts in, chuckling. He walks to Al, grabbing the arm, yanking back the clothing covering it, and shoving the arm into place, giving it a methodical twist. As Al cries out from the blinding pain, Envy taps the connected shoulder. "Isn't this sad, little Elric? I only try to kill your brother, and yet I know more about his automail than you do."

"Alphonse!" Ed runs forward to tend to his little brother, who drops to his knees, body wracked with pain from the automail reattachment. Envy steps aside, surprisingly enough, allowing Ed to cut in.

Al looks up as Ed reaches him, managing to bury the pain under steely determination. "I-I'm sorry, brother. I should have learned more about your automail."

"Shut up, Al. Come on, stand up; we've gotta fight our way out of here." Ed pulls Al to his feet, then faces Envy with a fighting stance. He spots Al from the corner of his eye getting into one as well, but he's a bit shaky.

"Hmm.. you know, I think you two have suffered enough for today," Envy says, an amused smile still plastered on his face. "I know I'd sure be suffering if I had to trade bodies with Fullmetal." Envy shudders at the thought. "If you ever find a way to make that happen, alchemist, I swear, I will kill everyone you know."

"Yeah, like I'd want to be in.. _that_," Ed replies, motioning to Envy's body. "_Hell_ no."

Al can't help but snicker again, putting his hand over his mouth right after. "S-so.. you're just letting us go?"

"Not without telling us what's going on here," Ed says stubbornly. "We were sent here for a reason, and you're never just around. What's going on?"

Envy crosses his arms, eyeballing Ed, wondering if he should spill it. After all, the goal of the homunculi is to create a stone, right? And giving the Fullmetal alchemist a lead could help them get there further, if this method is indeed viable. He doesn't see any harm in telling Ed. "Thermal energy."

Ed lowers his still-present arm blade. "..Thermal energy?"

"Yeah. It takes energy to make a philosopher's stone, right? One method we haven't tried yet is using energy from inside the earth. There's tons of energy there, the only tricky part is to convert it into an alchemical powerhouse contained in one little stone."

"What have you learned so far?" Al asks, just as intrigued as his brother.

"That's pretty much it," Envy admits, then points to a desk against the wall. "There's a few notes there from our friend, but nothing conclusive."

"Friend.. you mean the Flowing Heat Alchemist?" Ed replies, sharp mind piecing it together quickly. "He's helping you maniacs make a stone?"

"Please. He was looking for it before we came along. We just helped him get to a position where he could afford more research."

Ed starts walking toward the table containing the notes, but Envy holds his hand up. "Now, who said you can read those notes?"

"But if it helps-"

"No. I told you, those notes don't hold anything useful for you. Now get out of here before Mikael returns. He's got a hell of a temper."

"Mikael?"

"Flowing Heat, brother," Al replies.

"I want to look at those notes-"

"You have half an hour," Envy growls. "I'll go make sure Mikael doesn't come in."

As Envy's leaving, Al grabs his arm. "..Why are you helping us?"

Envy just grins. "I've never met anyone who makes things as interesting as you two do." He pulls away from Al's grip, walking off down the tunnel.

* * *

Ed and Al are back out in the howling blizzard, gazing at the mountains separating Drachma from Amestris. Ed is walking alongside his brother, periodically asking Al if he's cold.

"I'm fine, Ed," Al answers for the hundredth time. "I'm cold, but I'm not _that_ cold." He gives Ed a thumbs-up with his right hand.

"Good. I don't want you freezing half to death." {Again.}

"Did you find anything useful in Mikael's notes?"

"No, unfortunately. Just some half-witted forays into harnessing magma, which are obvious enough.. but nothing on actually using alchemy with the magma, or its energy. And no mention of the stone at all."

"Darn." Al hugs the coat again, burying his nose and mouth into the neck area and breathing heat into it. "Every time we get a little closer."

"Yeah, I know."

Al walks alongside Ed, not far from the Briggs fortress now. He's starting to slow down now, ever so slightly. It's _cold_. "Hey, Ed?"

"Hm?" Ed hasn't noticed Al's slowing down, only matched pace with his little brother.

"We should find a way to switch back before we focus on anything else."

"Al, we went over this, I don't mind-"

"But I do. I don't want your body if it means you can't have it."

"Right now, I'm not minding it," Ed says with a chuckle.

"It is really cold out," Al says, glancing up at Ed, glad he hasn't noticed Al's slight shivering. "Are we almost there?"

"Yeah. See? Right there." Ed points, and Al spots the looming wall in the distance.

"Oh, good," Al mumbles, forcing his legs to walk faster. His right foot has lost feeling, and his left thigh is just as numb, the bone near the automail port the only part that has feeling-and it's a painful one. "Hey, Ed.. have you ever been in the cold this long with your automail?"

Ed looks down at Al, spotting his limping gate. "No, I haven't.. how bad is it?"

"Leg's numb," Al replies, only stating half the truth. "Automail is like _ice_. I can't take it off, either.. it's fused to the skin." He groans, leaning his hooded head down as he pushes on through the blizzard.

"Al, did you.. want me to carry you? I don't mind."

Al chuckles. "You're colder than the snow, brother. You're all metal, remember? I bet you don't even know you have a coating of ice on you."

"Huh?" Ed looks down at himself, spotting layers of ice over the armor. He blinks and breaks it off, cracking it apart easily. "I didn't know it was that cold out here, Al! You shouldn't be out in this weather!"

"A little cold isn't going to kill me, Ed," Al replies, continuing his trek. "Don't worry, we're almost there."

Ed nods, walking silently next to his brother. He spots Al stumble a bit before catching himself, and immediately speaks. "Al, are you okay?"

"I'm _fine_, Ed. My leg is just a little stiff."

Ed nods, leaving Al alone after that. That is, until Al suddenly trips and faceplants into the snow. "Al?!"

Al lets out a draw-out groan of frustration. He lays there a minute, trying to gather his dignity before pushing himself up on his right knee, his left leg remaining stiff. "I think my automail is frozen. Ed, can-"

"Yes." Ed lifts Al up into his arms, only now spotting the paleness of Al's face. While it's not as bad as before, it's definitely not good. "Dammit Al, it's too cold out here for you." He runs toward the giant wall, holding Al carefully. "You're gonna make it, Al, don't worry!"

"Of course I'm going to make it!" Al replies haughtily. "I'm not _that_ cold, Ed!" Al keeps his head away from Ed's icy armor. "You're acting like I'm dying."

"Well I don't know! It's really cold out and you're awfully pale!"

Al smiles. "Kinda happens when there's no warmth anywhere." He spots the wall looming above them and grins. "Oh, we're here."

"Finally," Ed says with relief, gaining entry easily and heading inside. He sets Al down on the first seat he finds, running off to find him something warm and decent to eat. And tea. Tea is good too.

* * *

Al had been fine after only a little warmth in the fort. After a medical check saying that Al was incredibly lucky not to get frostbite, the two brothers turned their attention on getting back to Central.

They took the first train out, Al snuggling in his warm coat whilst Ed's mind ran over everything related to thermal energy. Unbeknownst to him, Al's train of thought was very different-trying to figure out just how the soul-switch had transpired, and how to reverse it.

Before either brother can come up with useful solutions to their questions, they arrive in Central. They head straight for Mustang, Ed hanging back as he encourages Al to act more like him.

"Try not to fail so miserably this time, please," Ed mutters. "My reputation is hanging on by a thread."

Al grins. "Sorry, brother. I'll try to do better this time."

They enter the office, Al swaggering like a pro to Mustang's desk. Ed smiles inside proudly at this; he walks to the couch and sits on it, leaning back into the cushions, even though he can't feel it. It bugs him a bit, too.

"So, Fullmetal.. what's the word from the north?"

Al glances at Ed, and with a nod of approval, begins telling the story. "We searched the mountains and found a cave where Flowing Heat was doing his research. We met Envy there, and he tried to fight us before finally giving in and letting us read the research notes. It's on harnessing thermal energy, magma from the earth, to create a stone."

"What did the notes say, exactly?" Roy asks, intrigued.

"I'm not sure; Ed read them, not me." Al points to Ed, not even realizing what he'd said.

Roy and Riza look back and forth between the two, then settle on Al. "Alphonse?"

Al's eyes widen and he looks between Roy and Riza; he finally looks over at Ed. "..Don't you think we should tell them? They might be able to help us."

"Wh-how much help do you think they'll be? That dumbshit Colonel still hasn't figured it out yet!"

"_Brother_, will you stop it? They-"

"Fine! Whatever, just tell them! Your acting is horrible anyways." Ed crosses his arms indignantly.

Al sighs, shaking his head, then turns to the shocked faces of Roy and Riza. "Just after Ed's birthday, he and I woke up-in each other's bodies." Al points to himself. "It's me, Alphonse." He then points to Ed. "That's Ed in the armor."

Ed raises a hand as he looks at the two stunned adults. "Yo."

"..That's not possible," Riza says, breaking the silence.

"Somehow, it is," Ed says, giving a little shrug. "It may not be what we were searching for, but at least for now, Al can enjoy being human again."

"But brother, I told you, I don't want your body if it means you have to be stuck in the armor in my pla-"

"Oh Al would you stop? I told you, I don't mind it! It's a nice break from that automail, too-"

"_Fullmetal_?" Roy asks incredulously, staring at Ed.

"_Yes_, my mentally-deficient superior officer, it's me, _Edward_. How long is it going to take to sink into that thick skull of yours?!"

Roy grits his teeth, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Yep, that's Edward all right."

"How exactly did this happen?" Riza asks, her gaze settling on Al once again.

"We're not exactly sure, it happened right after-"

"I made a wish on my birthday," Ed finishes. "I wished that Al would be human again. That's all I wanted. It happened, too.. but not in the way that I intended." Ed looks down at his feeling-less gloves. {I shouldn't feel this way, but I.. I want to switch back soon. I don't like being in this armor. Compared to how long Al has been in it though.. I'm being selfish.}

Riza watches Ed carefully, a small frown appearing on her face. "Edward." When he looks up, she continues speaking. "..You don't like being in that armor, do you?"

Ed jumps a bit. "I told you that I-"

"I heard you. That doesn't mean it's the truth."

Al looks at Ed. "Brother..?"

Ed looks between all three before sighing, having been caught. "How could anyone like it? You can't eat or sleep, and you can't feel a thing. You can't smile for someone, and even if you want to, you can't cry. ..I have no right to feel this way, though.. Al's been in the armor for years, and I've only been in it for a short while." His hands form into fists. "I'm sorry, Al. I shouldn't-"

"Don't apologize, Ed," Al says with a smile. "It's only natural to feel the way you do. I'm used to the armor by now, but for you, it's so new. I do like being able to once again eat and sleep and smell things and feel things and.. well, still.. I won't be happy until you can, too. We'll find a way to switch back first, and then we'll search for a way to get our bodies back."

"..Okay, Al," Ed agrees, giving a little nod. "We'll find a way to switch back first."

"I think all of this paperwork has finally made me go insane," Roy mutters. "Completely insane."

Ed snickers. "You were never sane to begin with."

"He did recruit you, after all, Brother."

"AL!"

* * *

Team Mustang should be dropping in soon. Rose will make an appearance in future chapters too!


	8. Chapter 8

Apologies for the slow posting. And relatively crappy chapter end.  
On the plus side: Nightwish is _awesome_ in concert.

Chapter 8: The benefits of the armor

* * *

As Ed, Al, Roy and Riza try to figure out a possible way for the brothers to switch back, Havoc and Breda enter from lunch. Havoc is the first to comment, spotting Al sitting casually on Roy's desk while Ed leans against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Hey, Ed. Give up your grudge against the Colonel?"

"Hell no," Ed replies, startling the two newcomers. "Ya crazy? He _asks_ for that grudge."

"..Okay, Al."

Roy looks up at Havoc. "That's Ed."

"..Are you feelin' okay, Boss? That's Al. You know.. Al in the armor? Ed the short one?"

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME?!" Ed yells, leaping into a menacing pose, hands formed into fists.

"Brother!" Al protests, looking back and forth between Havoc and Breda. "Brother calm down they don't know!"

"Did we miss something?" Breda asks, looking around at everyone.

"Yes. Fullmetal switched bodies with his brother."

"..Yeah, and I quit smoking."

"I'm serious here!"

"So is he," Breda says. "And I've decided to go on a diet." He crosses his arms, looking at Roy as though he's insane.

"Lieutenant! Back me up here," Roy says, turning to Riza.

Dismayed to once again be playing the role of the only _sensible_ person in the room, she sighs. "We're not sure how it's happened yet, but Edward and Alphonse have indeed traded places with each other."

Havoc's eyes widen. "..No _way_!"

"The Lieutenant doesn't lie," Breda says, but he's still dumbstruck by what she'd said. "How is this even possible? Man, I'm glad I didn't learn alchemy."

"You're not the only one," Havoc mutters. "..I'm confused though."

"What about?" Al asks, leaning forward curiously, cutely. Unlike Edward.

"Well.. when you were in the armor.." Havoc points to Ed, still unnerved. "The sound of your voice sounded like _you_. Because it was your soul in the armor. So.. so then.. if Ed's soul is in the armor now.. why doesn't the armor sound like _him?_"

Ed and Al look at each other before they look back at Havoc.

"You know.. I had wondered that myself," Al muses. "We've just been so busy trying to figure out what happened and how to switch back that we haven't had a chance to think about it."

"At least it cuts down on confusion," Ed adds in. "If both Al and myself sounded like me, people might get suspicious."

"Well.. I guess." Havoc pauses. "How exactly did you two manage this?"

"We're not completely sure," Al answers, but Ed interjects immediately.

"I am." He crosses his arms, leaning against the wall once again. "On my birthday, I made a wish to swap bodies with Al. The next morning, we woke up like this." Ed looks up at Havoc and Breda, then over at Al. "..Maybe another wish can switch us back. Eventually," Ed adds, not wanting to give Al the idea that he wants to switch back yet. That would be selfish on his part; at least, that's what he thinks.

"..When is everyone's birthday?" Al asks, looking around at the small crowd in the room.

"Mine isn't until August 3rd," Roy answers, leaning back in his chair. "Liuetenant?"

"April 13th."

"Hah! Mine's not 'til July," Havoc replies. "Man, you guys are out of luck."

"September," Breda adds in, giving a shrug. "Sorry, Ed."

"Darn it! Ed shouldn't be stuck in the armor for so long!"

"Al, you've been in it much longer than-"

"I _know_ that Ed, but I'm used to it! You're not!"

"That doesn't mean you should have to be in it and not me!"

"Brother.. I really don't like your automail."

"I don't-wait, what?"

"I thought you had the better deal, since you got to keep your body.. but this automail is way harder on you than I thought. It's so heavy, and in the snow, it's absolute hell." He lifts the arm up, rolling the shoulder a few times. "I always thought you slept a lot because you used so much energy on reading and maintaining your attitude.. but it's because the automail takes a lot out of you. It exhausts you so easily."

Ed glances at Havoc and Breda, who are looking both at Al and himself with a mix of surprise, pity and empathy.

"So that's why you're always so irritable," Havoc muses, but in the least offensive way he can. "You're always tired."

"That's not true," Ed replies. "I'm not always tired. I sleep a lot to make sure I'm not."

"You sleep a lot because you're always tired," Breda says plainly.

As Ed groans, Al speaks again.

"I like to be able to eat and sleep and smell and _feel_ again, brother, but your body is really hard to bear. I actually, um.." Al gulps nervously. "I kind of miss the armor."

"You WHAAAT?" The pink orbs that are Ed's eyes widen.

"Well there's no pain in it, and I never get tired or hungry. Don't get me wrong, I want my body back soon.. but _my_ body. I-I, you should have _your_ body back while we look for a way to fix both of us. And I'll take the armor back. It's really not that bad." Preferable to Ed's body in the meantime, but Al can't bear to say that to Ed. Not when Ed paid with his arm to pull Al's soul from the gate.

The following silence seems to stretch on for minutes, but it's finally broken by Ed chuckling. Al looks at him in surprise.

"Marred by so many scars, even my brother doesn't want to use my body."

"Wh-no, Ed!" Al's eyes widen. "I didn't mean it like-"

"I know you didn't, Al. It's okay." Ed gives Al a thumbs-up, smiling with his eyes. "Now let's get out of here before we manage to get a surprise visit from-"

"The Elric brothers! I had heard you were here! I wished to stop by and see how you were doing."

"..Armstrong," Ed whispers. He looks from the sparkles over to Al, who looks like he's slowly inching toward Riza for a barrier of defense.

"Have you boys made any progress?"

"Not yet," Ed says, taking the attention off Al, who looks relieved. "We're just about to get an assignment from the Colonel, though. Isn't that right?" Ed looks at Roy, hoping the other man will take the hint.

"That's correct. Fullmetal?" Roy looks over at Al, motioning for him to scoot out of Riza's shadow and fetch the document in his hand.

"Ah, y-yes sir," Al says, hopping over quickly and taking the paper with a small thank-you. His eyes widen as he reads. "Brother, we're going to Liore!"

"Liore?" Ed replies in surprise, going over to Al to yank the paper from his hands and read it. "Liore, huh.. oh. They just need some extra help.. rebuilding? You're sending us out there for that?! What the hell's your problem, Colonel? You know we need leads and you give us these menial assignments!"

Roy stares into Ed's eyes before motioning with them to Armstrong, who looks surprised by Ed's behaviour.

"Sorry, Major! I think Ed's starting to rub off on me," Ed says, managing to mimic Al's innocent, apologetic tone. "We'll see you later, Colonel Mustang! Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Ed waves to the others before scurrying out with Al right in tow.

* * *

After a quick stop to get a sandwich for Al-who Ed keeps forgetting now possesses his own impressive appetite.. and still slightly-pudgy stomach-they head to the train station, anxious to get on the train. While the assignment is just to lend a hand, it's been a while since the two brothers have been to the city, and they're more excited to see everyone again than they realize.

"I wonder how much has changed," Al muses, leaning back in his seat on the train. He's enjoying the comfortable cushioning of the seats, running his left hand over the fabric. Even now, being back in flesh and blood for this long, Al takes advantage of every opportunity he can to enjoy his senses.

"Knowing Rose's determination, they've probably got the place almost rebuilt," Ed replies, allowing his mind to wander. He watches out the window as the scenery passes by.

"Do you think she'll be able to figure out our switch?"

"Probably not. We don't need to tell her, do we?"

"I don't see why we would." Al looks up as the stewardess asks them if they need anything. He gives her a bright, cheerful smile, nodding. "Yeah! Do you have anything to eat?"

"But Al you just ate!"

"Well I know but-I'm still kind of hungry, brother." Al pauses, then remembers how protective Ed is of his figure. "On second thought.."

"No, no. Go ahead and eat. Who knows when we'll switch back? Enjoy your senses."

While the stewardess is confused by the conversation, she dutifully nods and trots off to get Al's requested refreshments.

"Thanks, Ed. I promise, I won't overeat and make this any bigger." He pulls up his shirt, revealing his belly. Compared to the last time it was mentioned, back when Winry had prepared his on-the-road 'feast', it had gained about an inch in size. Al gulps nervously, shoving the shirt back down and looking away.

Ed waves his gloved hand. "Don't worry about it, Al. I'll deal with it when we switch back, okay?"

Al visibly relaxes and nods, smiling. "'Kay!"

* * *

The remainder of the train ride went quickly, spent watching the scenery outside slowly change to desert, chatting about Liore and Rose, and both brothers musing about possible library improvements in the desert city.

Their conversation stalled as they pulled into the train station. Ed then commented about how glad he was that Liore finally got a stop on the train route.

"Walking through the desert _was_ kind of a bother," Al replies to Ed's statement.

"How would you know? You didn't have to worry about getting dehydrated or sand blown into your eyes or anything!"

"Well at least you're not so heavy and you didn't sink in like-"

"Edward? Alphonse?"

Both boys' heads turn to face none other than Rose, who is holding a basket of vegetables. Surprise is visible on her face from the arrival of the Elrics.

"Rose!" Al says enthusiastically, walking toward her. "How have you been?"

"I've been doing great, thanks to you two," she replies cheerfully. "You look like you're not doing too bad yourselves!"

The boys glance at each other before chuckling.

"We're managing," Al answers, hefting his suitcase over his back.

Ed just replies in a humored voice.

"_Sooome_how."


End file.
